apathy is often used in a negative context. it's considered the opposite of love. but lately, and by lately I mean today, i had a thought. for me, in my life right now, apathy might be what's moving me through a tough thing. there's something that i've cared way too much about. it has taken precedence in so many areas of my life and my heart, and i have fought and fought to keep it there. even in my letting go, i have worked to move it around, but never cared little enough to let it settle where it belongs. i have been far too calculated and consumed. when i think of apathy, i think about throwing something in the air, without any concern for where it will land. that is a way of thinking, being and living that is pretty foreign to me. so i guess, i'm seeing apathy in a different light today. i'm seeing it as progress and freedom. i'm seeing it as beautiful, because to not care about this, even in the slightest way, is refreshing. for me right now, apathy doesn't mean careless in a negligant way, but surrender. and i'm going with it.
